Graduation is arguably one of the most significant times in a person’s life. Some people get gifts from their families, others get crippling depression, all for a piece of paper that gets hung on a wall. No, but it's a requiem of achievement. People invest so much time and commitment and money to finally have a tangible marker to highlight their success. So whatever your reason for attending college it is very special. So since we know that graduating college is a big deal this begs the question of why? I mean what are we supposed to get out of it and why does graduating college leave so many young adults so perplexed? I graduated in 2021 as a first gen student and I was ready to pursue the next step of my education in law school. I was always high achieving in school and excited about learning but this was law school and I always felt a little intimidated. Was this something that I wanted to pursue?
Determined to figure out what law school was really like I decided to do a ton of research and even reach out to a family member that already completed her years at law school. She responded with a story one of her close friends sent her, expanding on why she felt law school was not for her. She managed to find a role working in corporate law at a prominent law firm in New York, but it wasn't what she expected not to mention she was throat deep in 200k debt. I’m sure the payoff was decent considering the stature of the firm she was employed at but it still encouraged me to think deeply about whether I was making the right decision. What would I be doing in law school? I decided to take a gap year to enter the workforce since I only worked the latter half of undergrad and I obviously would need to make money to consider law school. I could apply to scholarships but I wanted to keep my standards realistic considering the statistics I was seeing regarding the abysmal financial aid of most law schools.
So far I do not regret taking a gap year and I managed to save a pretty penny working extremely hard at a fine dining establishment. Working has also made me value my time more than when I was a poor student relying on refund checks just to get by in college. The flexibility of working at this job also helped me realize I would rather be doing something more creative with my time and I became eager to start my own business.
There was just one problem. WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO WITH MY DEGREE?!?
Despite feeling moderately fulfilled and accomplished shortly after graduating college there was just this looming anxiety I had that it was all for nothing if I did not manage to do something with my degree. I was thankful for my job but then I began to wonder what if I had to do this for several more years and then boom I'm almost thirty and I haven't left my first “real” job. Especially without any relevant work experience towards something in my field.
What was I even saying “My first real job”? Every job is a real job, right? If it pays real bills it's a real job. However, I was starting to feel a little burnt out from working in a restaurant. I already was promoted to several roles and felt like there was not any more room for growth. It wasn't like college where I could continue to be challenged. We also reached our slow season and I was not making as much money as I was used to and I missed the stability of making more than my weekly minimum amount.
I decided to look for more jobs but I wasn't seeing anything I felt remotely qualified to do. I decided to check LinkedIn to see what my peers were doing differently. Most of them seemed to receive job offers within their profession immediately after college. So I began to think maybe I needed to look for internships which to my surprise I didn't qualify for either because I was no longer a student in undergrad. I remember thinking I was too late and the market was only going to get more competitive as each senior class graduated. Meanwhile, I'm still navigating how to gain more experience so I can find a job that makes more money.
I know this sounds like a pity party but it gets better I promise. Hopefully, I am hitting some key points that resonate with you all.
LinkedIn used to feel like a cry of desperation when I felt hopeless about my future. An echo chamber of false hope and fake positivity posts being recycled as a means to motivate those of us that were unemployed or were struggling to find a job in our field. I began to feel like I was not doing enough with my life as I saw incoming freshmen get internships and even land jobs while in college. I regret that I wasn't doing enough while in undergrad. Until something changed. I saw a post on LinkedIn where I saw this girl who was an artist talk about her brand deal with Target. After that, I began to see more freelance artists on LinkedIn promoting their businesses. I felt like I found my calling.
I began to do my research and came across an article that explained why there are so many Black women dominating the entrepreneurship scene. It spoke about how many black women were overqualified or simply denied access to roles due to their racial background so the only alternative was to create an opportunity out of nothing and start their own businesses. This somehow bolstered my enthusiasm for entrepreneurship coming from someone who has always been skeptical of turning their passions into side hustles. If that was the case I would want it to form organically, and it did.
This brings me to the birth of Deluju. Deluju is short for delusional juju. Manifestation and being “delulu” are terms that seemed to have taken over on the internet but the practice has been revered since the beginning of time. Growing up I’ve always known this concept as faith which can be defined as the evidence of things not seen, yet the substance of all things hoped for. Being delusional is often the projection toward people who have faith. However, faith is the cornerstone of every great success story. I am a firm believer that you need to believe in your ability before anyone else because that is your motivation and the action that responds to that belief is where the magic happens. I think the same to be true for creating any form of visual art and being able to create ideas that nobody else has seen and developing the skill and materials to create that idea in a physical form as an artist feels like a magical experience. Not to say it's easier said than done but the key to this is to keep going and taking the necessary steps to work on that idea despite its ugly stage. The ugly stage is where most of us like to stop because it does not automatically look the way we see the vision in our heads. So to me, the solution to this is Deluju that no matter the situation or “ugly stage” I may stand in life or point in my creative process I am always going to trust the process and watch the magic happen.